Thursday, August 20, 2009

...wilderness...

So this time last week, I shared with you, my friends, that I was at a place of crisis. A place where I would be making some life-defining decisions. You should know that I have decided on my next step. I am taking a trip. It is not a trip I am particularly fond of, however it is a trip that I am tentatively looking forward to. I have no idea how long I will be on this trip, and honestly I am not totally sure I want to know. I would like to share with you a little bit about what this trip looks like and I would like to be honest with you about why the decision to go on this trip was so tough.

So, where is my destination, you ask? As you may can tell from the title of this post, I am going on a trip into the wilderness. It may not be quite what you are thinking. I am not literally going into the wilderness. Let me explain. Last week I had the great opportunity to meet with one of my favorite pastors, Rev. June Jernigan from Millbrook FUMC. She was able to put to words so well, exactly the circumstance in which i find myself. The truth is, I don't have any clear direction on what career or location in which God would like me placed. In fact, I find myself with no clear direction at all with exception to the words from Micah 6:8 (to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God). June reminded me that sometimes we MUST go through a wilderness in our life. Sometimes, it is necessary to get absolutely LOST with only God to give you the direction you need. So here I find myself lost in a wilderness and I am praying like mad that God will continue to be the compass that provides the correct direction.

So what does this wilderness look like for me? Actually, in my confusion and not hearing clear direction from God, I am yet excited about returning home to Mobile, Alabama. I will be working in a non-church position (or two), and waiting to see what God has planned for me next. It is such a blessing to have this opportunity to STOP, WAIT AND LISTEN! And how much more a privilege to be able to do that in a great place like my home. I will look forward to continue keeping you updated and I pray that all of us would begin taking some time to rest and actually rely so fully on the Lord. It will not be easy, but it MUST happen. I'm just sayin'.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

...crisis...

Ok, so before any of you freak out, everything is ok. I will expound upon the title of this week's post in just a moment. First let me tell you what has gone on til now for the past couple of weeks. We had our final group on the reservation last week. It was a great group from Minneapolis called TreeHouse. I want to encourage you to check out their website and pray about supporting their ministry. http://www.treehouseyouth.org/ Next, we traveled to Denver for our closing events with YouthWorks! I was not accepted for the Area Director position and I am actually oddly encouraged by that. Just moments before I found out I prayed that God would begin to close some doors on opportunities. We went to a Rockies game last night. They lost, but still a good time. Now, I find myself in Fayetteville, Arkansas in the home of the best family in the world...the Stines! 850 MILES IN ONE DAY! Thanks to the Stines for having me tonight.


Now to the point of this week's blog. Recently, I was listening to one of my favorite Pastors, Rev. Adam Hamilton from United Methodist Church of the Resurrection. In honor of his 45th birthday, he was inviting the congregation to have a crisis, midlife or otherwise. As Rev. Hamilton spoke, he began to explain that the word crisis comes from a Greek word that simply means "a decisive moment." A decisive moment. A fork in the road. A place where you decide, "I can do this, or I can do this...and no matter which I choose it is going to change my life forever." This is where I find myself. I can not tell you how much I have agonized over what is to come next in my life. Even through my decision to step away from the institutional church, I have had multiple churches asking me to consider coming to serve their student ministry vocationally. Did I make the right decision about this? I have also had this overwhelming desire to participate in some other avenues of ministry, but will I be happy not having continual one on one contact with students? Then there is the other option to just step back into secular work and volunteer for ministry. SO MANY OPTIONS! What I do realize is this...God is calling my heart to be broken for something....but what? When I really come to the conclusion of the question, I believe the answer will lead me to the calling in my life. I also began to think about Micah 6.8 through this process where God simply reminds us of His very simple will...."to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with him." So easily said but man! Here is the transparency...I pull away from the church partly due to fear. Due to a desire not to be fired or see students wrestle through that process. I veer away from simple missionary service, because I realize the amount of debt I have, school and otherwise, and find it somewhat irresponsible not to take care of those things first. Then I veer away from secular work because honestly, it is certainly not what I feel called to. So what next?

I my friend am going to embrace this crisis! I am going to acknowledge this as an opportunity for growth and learning about God's faithfulness in my life. I am going to continue on this journey realizing that God has CALLED us to crisis! He has called us to draw a line in the sand and make big decisions that will change the world and draw other's to Christ. Who knows, maybe we all need to have a crisis? Just sayin'.

P.S. Thanks to all those who read this summer and who will continue to join me in this journey. You can listen to Pastor Adam's sermon at http://www.cor.org/worship-sermons/sermons/show/sermons/Part-1/