...year...

well friends, it has been quite a while since we spoke last. I would love to tell you all kinds of things that have happened in the past few weeks, but truthfully, there hasnt been too much. I have spent some time at the beach, and I have also spent a lot of time catching up with my cousin Donna who recently moved to the area. Good times....

So let's get started. I recently had a conversation with Donna, and within that conversation we spoke about my experiences in ministry. You should understand that I have wrestled for so long now with exactly what I need/want to do. I have gone all over the spectrum, from bartender to new church start pastor, etc... Really, all over the map. Finally, Donna asked me, "Lance, if you could do anything in the world that you wanted to do right now, what would it be?" My answer was very simple. Student Ministry. The truth is, I love students and I love leading them toward the cross. But notice, that is what I WANT to do. I actually do believe that God will bring me back to student ministry; within the church even. But, I also realize that it is not the plan right this moment.

A couple of weeks ago, I was able to go to Spanish Fort United Methodist Church where my Youth Pastor Paul is on staff. We had a great opportunity to catch up and talk about some different things (including AUBURN FOOTBALL!) Through this time of reflection and thought, Paul offered me something that I am so grateful for....a mentorship. I began thinking about how, I have not in the past 9 years had someone that really effectively mentored me into ministry. And so, that is what I will be doing over the next year. I have decided not to work in the church again for at least 1 year. I have got to take time to grow before I can lead anyone. My option is to be in this wilderness and barren land and come out with nothing, or I can be here and LEARN! I pray it be a year of learning. I believe I will come out on the other side with a deeper understanding for God's will for my life and a better idea of how to fulfill that will.

I will never forget a conversation I had with a Pastor friend of mine, June Jernigan (i know, this is a lot of conversations), as I was passing through Montgomery to come back to Mobile. June told me that I was very fortunate to be in this place of wilderness, and that I am doing something many dont. Stopping long enough to be lost. I am sure that is paraphrasing and not nearly as profound as she stated it, but I guess what I am saying is this...why dont we ALL take some time to be lost. If you are no longer do things on purpose, maybe it's time to reevaluate. If you are no longer doing things for the sake of leading people to Christ, maybe it's time to reevaluate. If you are just going through the motions and are not seeing the fruit of Christ's life, death and resurrection in your life and the live's of those around you, maybe it's time to reevaluate. These were all symptoms I have had, and I am praying that God will meet you and I both in this wilderness! Finally, thank you to all of the people who have been pouring into my life like Tom Lane who is always just an encouragement, Deb Kenny who just blesses me with love, Paul Olsen who is willing to help lead me, Dave who is just willing to be a great friend, Donna Jo who is a listening ear and loving cousin. I pray that you all have people surrounding your life that have poured the love of Christ into your life as these have mine.

...empty... (haiku)

cool breeze, lost, empty
In You I find my refuge
Where else to look to?

Just to let you know friends, I have moved back to Mobile, Alabama. There are parts that seem so much like and yet parts that seem so foreign. Much more wilderness than I expected I think. I covet your prayers that I might actually pay attention to the guidance of God through this time of wilderness. job? yeah pray for that too please! Thank you all for your continued interest and prayers. You are all pretty amazing friends. I'm just sayin'...
Blessings,
Lance

...wilderness...

So this time last week, I shared with you, my friends, that I was at a place of crisis. A place where I would be making some life-defining decisions. You should know that I have decided on my next step. I am taking a trip. It is not a trip I am particularly fond of, however it is a trip that I am tentatively looking forward to. I have no idea how long I will be on this trip, and honestly I am not totally sure I want to know. I would like to share with you a little bit about what this trip looks like and I would like to be honest with you about why the decision to go on this trip was so tough.

So, where is my destination, you ask? As you may can tell from the title of this post, I am going on a trip into the wilderness. It may not be quite what you are thinking. I am not literally going into the wilderness. Let me explain. Last week I had the great opportunity to meet with one of my favorite pastors, Rev. June Jernigan from Millbrook FUMC. She was able to put to words so well, exactly the circumstance in which i find myself. The truth is, I don't have any clear direction on what career or location in which God would like me placed. In fact, I find myself with no clear direction at all with exception to the words from Micah 6:8 (to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God). June reminded me that sometimes we MUST go through a wilderness in our life. Sometimes, it is necessary to get absolutely LOST with only God to give you the direction you need. So here I find myself lost in a wilderness and I am praying like mad that God will continue to be the compass that provides the correct direction.

So what does this wilderness look like for me? Actually, in my confusion and not hearing clear direction from God, I am yet excited about returning home to Mobile, Alabama. I will be working in a non-church position (or two), and waiting to see what God has planned for me next. It is such a blessing to have this opportunity to STOP, WAIT AND LISTEN! And how much more a privilege to be able to do that in a great place like my home. I will look forward to continue keeping you updated and I pray that all of us would begin taking some time to rest and actually rely so fully on the Lord. It will not be easy, but it MUST happen. I'm just sayin'.

...crisis...

Ok, so before any of you freak out, everything is ok. I will expound upon the title of this week's post in just a moment. First let me tell you what has gone on til now for the past couple of weeks. We had our final group on the reservation last week. It was a great group from Minneapolis called TreeHouse. I want to encourage you to check out their website and pray about supporting their ministry. http://www.treehouseyouth.org/ Next, we traveled to Denver for our closing events with YouthWorks! I was not accepted for the Area Director position and I am actually oddly encouraged by that. Just moments before I found out I prayed that God would begin to close some doors on opportunities. We went to a Rockies game last night. They lost, but still a good time. Now, I find myself in Fayetteville, Arkansas in the home of the best family in the world...the Stines! 850 MILES IN ONE DAY! Thanks to the Stines for having me tonight.


Now to the point of this week's blog. Recently, I was listening to one of my favorite Pastors, Rev. Adam Hamilton from United Methodist Church of the Resurrection. In honor of his 45th birthday, he was inviting the congregation to have a crisis, midlife or otherwise. As Rev. Hamilton spoke, he began to explain that the word crisis comes from a Greek word that simply means "a decisive moment." A decisive moment. A fork in the road. A place where you decide, "I can do this, or I can do this...and no matter which I choose it is going to change my life forever." This is where I find myself. I can not tell you how much I have agonized over what is to come next in my life. Even through my decision to step away from the institutional church, I have had multiple churches asking me to consider coming to serve their student ministry vocationally. Did I make the right decision about this? I have also had this overwhelming desire to participate in some other avenues of ministry, but will I be happy not having continual one on one contact with students? Then there is the other option to just step back into secular work and volunteer for ministry. SO MANY OPTIONS! What I do realize is this...God is calling my heart to be broken for something....but what? When I really come to the conclusion of the question, I believe the answer will lead me to the calling in my life. I also began to think about Micah 6.8 through this process where God simply reminds us of His very simple will...."to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with him." So easily said but man! Here is the transparency...I pull away from the church partly due to fear. Due to a desire not to be fired or see students wrestle through that process. I veer away from simple missionary service, because I realize the amount of debt I have, school and otherwise, and find it somewhat irresponsible not to take care of those things first. Then I veer away from secular work because honestly, it is certainly not what I feel called to. So what next?

I my friend am going to embrace this crisis! I am going to acknowledge this as an opportunity for growth and learning about God's faithfulness in my life. I am going to continue on this journey realizing that God has CALLED us to crisis! He has called us to draw a line in the sand and make big decisions that will change the world and draw other's to Christ. Who knows, maybe we all need to have a crisis? Just sayin'.

P.S. Thanks to all those who read this summer and who will continue to join me in this journey. You can listen to Pastor Adam's sermon at http://www.cor.org/worship-sermons/sermons/show/sermons/Part-1/

...a new friend on the journey...

This week, I would like to take a few minutes to tell you about a new friend that I made last week.

Her confident, yet gentle demeanor seemed to demand and deserve respect. She arrived with her church group two Sundays ago, and I felt an immediate connection to her spirit. She is a United Methodist pastor from Illinois and her name is Pastor Harlene. Pastor Harlene is a wonderful woman who has been in Pastoral ministry for 15 years now. She is the Associate Pastor of a wonderful church with a wonderful group. My admiration for her continually grew for her throughout the week.

In our first conversation, we were speaking of cultural issues with her being an African-american Pastor in a predominately white congregation. She seemed so proud of her congregation for the progress they were continuing to make toward being a culturally diverse congregation. Not only was it a proud response, but it was a response filled with confidence that God would continue this good work! Praise you Father for reminding me that you came to reconcile all of us unto Yourself!

Our next encounter of significance occurred at the Buffalo Jump. The Buffalo Jump is a 70 ft drop off where the native would kill herd of buffalo. Pastor Harlene bravely yet a little nervously decided to walk down the side and around the entire Buffalo Jump. I am pretty certain that she would have like to turned around after the first few steps, but I encouraged her that it might be easier to continue going around than to turn back. I thank her for trusting me. We spent a great deal of time slowly working our way around the buffalo jump with her right behind me and sometimes finding balance by holding my shoulders. She would never realize this, but it meant so much to me to watch her amazing perseverance! We stopped often but never permanently. What wonderful conversation and fellowship we had together.

The final significant encounter came on Thursday night after club and church group time. I was not feeling great and I was a little frustrated about some things. I was down on myself for something I couldn't control. As I was sitting in the kitchen reading the gospel of Mark, Pastor Harlene came in and asked if I would be willing to serve communion to their group. HOLY MESS! Who am I to serve communion to anyone. Sure I have served before, but this was different. I felt so humbled and so honored all in one big swipe. I told her I would be happy to serve communion with her, and so we did. She offered me an opportunity to share some insight with those present and I believe God used me to speak into the hearts of some students that night. I feel like there may be some even greater point to this encounter that has yet to be revealed, but we will see. Anyways, it was a beautiful communion.

I am not sure why I felt it so important to tell you of my new friend Pastor Harlene, but I did. I am not sure if I will ever see her again. I am not even sure if we will ever speak again. What I am realizing through this post is we should not take any opportunity for granted. We should live our lives trying to embody the ideals of Jesus Christ and longing to be Christ to others. Pastor Harlene may never know the impact her simple presence had on me, but that does not change the fact that it did. When we long to reflect Jesus to others, we will continually find him in the faces of those that we meet. I'm just sayin'.

Lord Jesus, help us to reflect your glory onto others. Work through my friends and I to make a difference in someone's life the way Pastor Harlene has mine. Help us to be your hands and feet. And Father, I pray that nobody ever remember us for anything we did or said, but that they would remember us for who we serve...you! Amen.

...showers...

It has been quite an interesting week here in Lame Deer, Montana. First of all for those who are not already aware, for logistical reasons, we had to move our entire housing site to a different location for the last three weeks of programming. That is last week. Can I tell you what a blessing it has been. First of all, we DREADED this transfer. It meant we would have to move everything and learn how to use a different and smaller facility. Second of all, it meant we would get NO time off this past weekend. Ugh! Third, it means we no longer have internet access readily available. So then you ask, where is the blessing?

The first blessing took place on Thursday evening when our Area Director, Ashley and our friend from corporate, Mara drove in around 1 am. Granted, I was not awake for their arrival, but the next day they began assisting like none other. It was so cool to see management realize that they too can get their hands dirty to help the greater cause of the team. One thing I have found in YouthWorks! is that their mission revolves around being servant hearted. I will be honest with you...it is sad, but unfortunately, we don't always see the most servant-hearted leaders within the walls of our church. Sometimes we even see pastors that turn their nose up to the homeless and are more concerned about tending public image and finances than they are the team of ministers they have surrounded themselves with. This isn't in regard to any pastors I have necessarily had, because I have had some great pastors. It is simply an observation from a guy who has not always been the most servant-hearted himself. Thanks Ashley and Mara. In addition, the entire team from the Crow Reservation came over to help out and bring me more paint. You guys were amazing. Needless to say, the move went beautifully.

The space is kinda small, but we have made do. In fact we dont even have showers on site. That brings me to the next blessing. We as staff have to be at the shower site while our teams are showering. I would have never thought about it, but it is amazing how much extra time this creates for us to develop relationships with students and adults while they are waiting in the halls. Isn't that how we are with God sometimes. It is amazing that it takes a requirement/accountability to spend alone time with God and develop that relationship. Our desire should be to make that time, and for many it is. Not me. I spend time with God by circumstance too often. I love the relationship I build with him in those times, BUT I LONG FOR IT TO BE MY PASSION! Maybe you struggle with this too, but I know I do.

Last let me share a short story. Evidently, there is one plug on the entire reservation that controls all of the internet capabilities for the entire tribal government. Guess whos new bedroom that plug resides in. Yes friends that is right. Sunday evening I needed to blow up my air mattress and unknowingly decided to pull out a very simple looking cord that appeard to be connected to a clock I would not be using. I never took the time to pay attention and notice that the clock did not stop. Um, yeah. I disabled ALL the tribal government computers internet access! Leave it to me right? In addition to that I cant even pick up a wireless signal. I have the power to shut down an entire tribal governement and can't even get a wifi signal. Only me friends. Only me. I'm just sayin, seems kinda crazy! Im just sayin.

...tapestry...

a few things to begin with...

1. Happy Birthday to my brother Brian, my niece Kayce and my dear friend Taylor Reed.

2. I'm so stinking ready to see Gulf Shores.

3. Thanks to my mom for the great package of stuff you sent.

4. Thanks to my friend dawn for your continued prayers and words of life.

5. Thanks to my friend Phil, well for just being a friend (congrats on the house)

6. Please pray for us...we are changing housing sites this weekend...should be a butt.....I mean and awful good time!

7. Yes Shannon, I absoluetly believe in miracles!

8. Brandon...see you soon buddy! YW 09!

Here we are...after this week I am only going to be blessed by the Cheyenne Reservation for three more weeks. I have missed so many people, but I have learned so much from this culture and these people. We have had 5 weeks of programming which is probably about 300 students and over 50 adults (totally guessing here). We have worked on numerous homes and organizations in the area. We have been able to touch many lives through the love and sacrifice of students and adults to come and be with us for a week in this great land.

I was on facebook tonight and ran across a friend's status (waddup RQJ...miss you and the fam dearly!) Her status said simply this: "Each of us is a vital piece of thread in another person's tapestry, even if we don't realize it or appreciate it." I am not totally certain of why this grabbed me, but it did. I began to think of all the people in my life. I thought about my parents and brothers, I even thought about the lady that used to clean our house every other week, Geraldine. I also thought about the people who have been so good to me, as well as some of those people I have tried to forget. I thought about pastors who lovingly cared for and mentored me, as well as the ones that could not wait to see me go. I thought of the lay people and students that have loved me endlessly. I thought of many of my facebook friends (so probably you) and then I began to think of all those people I have met this summer. Lonnie Littlebird, Tim WhistlingElk, Clinton and Jackie Small, the staff, the adults, the students. You know, it is hard to see while in the midst of a season, but if you stop long enough to think about it, you realize how important EVERYONE in your life really is to you and who you are. When I think of my friends status and the people I have met in my life, I can't help but think of Joseph and his coat of many colors. After the 27 years God has granted me on this earth, I am finally beginning to see the colors that people have added to my tapestry. I wont lie, some situations and people it is hard to find nothing but a simple black thread that makes me want to pull it from the tapestry, BUT I know that I learned from all of them. I know that everyone in my life, has spun their own unique thread and woven it into my life. AND, i know because of God's promises, He is going to finish this tapestry he has begun in me! I cant wait to see who else's thread weaves it's way into my life.

In closing I want to thank all of you, for weaving into my life. I appreciate you being a part of this tapestry God is working on.

Father, I pray that my friends and I would be so willing to surrender our tapestry to you. God, that our hopes and dreams of the final product would become no longer central, and that we would simply allow you to do the weaving in our lives. Lord I also pray that the thread we use to weave into other's lives add beauty. Holy Spirit Come!

...powwow...

So how many of us actually know and understand what a powwow is? For most of you, my guess is you can join the club I was in, before last weekend that is.

This past weekend, I attended the Annual 4th of July Powwow on the Northern Cheyenne Reservation. Tipis and tents overflowed the grounds leaving a light filled opening in the center of the activity. As you went closer to the expanse in the center, the amount of color increased as if you were stepping out of a black and white television and into HD. The colors even seemed to get brighter! The activity seemed to reach a level beyond excitement. We took our seat on the bleachers (the ones not already claimed by a myriad of blankets laying out). As we sat down the Grand Entry began to take place. This is all beginning to come together for me. The overwhelming amount of color and excitement begins to flow into the arena from one corner. All those entering begin to dance. They all have identifying numbers pinned to their carefully beaded garments. This is a dance competition! The grand entry was a celebration of culture and the evening. The contests would happen throughout the rest of the day and even up until 430 the next morning (i left at midnight!) Needless to say, I was humbled to be a part of something that seemed so magnificent. To them, it probably is comparable to what most of us know as a county fair or similar. To me, it was so much more.

As the dances went on through the night I could not help but think and imagine the dancing of King David in the Bible. One place in particular was in 2 Samuel 6 when the Ark is brought back to Jerusalem. It says David was dancing and leaping before the Lord and that he was even wearing a priestly garment. The joy of these dances was so prevalent and filled the entire place. There are also many opportunities throughout the powwow for people to honor one another with special dances and through gift-giving. The Cheyenne also "blow the whistle" in honor of people. My friend Lonnie Littlebird (see "...littlebird wisdom...") was telling me about the powwow happening Sunday evening. He told me of a 4 year old boy who's well-known and well-respected grandmother was extremely ill in the hospital. This young boy came up to the grandstand and was allowed to blow the whistle on behalf of his grandmother. Lonnie said the entire powwow (probably 2000-3000 people) immediately jumped to their feet and began to dance, cheer, celebrate and pray. It was as if something just erupted within the place. And so here I go thinking AGAIN!

When is the last time I danced for the Lord? When is the last time I was so overcome with the goodness of God and the desire for someone's healing that I could not resist but to break out in praise? When is the last time any of us were moved so genuinely by the Holy Spirit that we could not help but cheer and praise the one and only creator of all things?!?! I am beginning to wonder why we don't more often give God the eruption of praise that only He deserves. When did we become so timid as to let other people's perceptions or ideas of worship interfere with our praise of Jesus Christ, the lover of our souls. Now don't get me wrong. I realize that we all worship differently and that is OK! I am not speaking of a different worship style. I am speaking of a different "heart style." When is the last time we let the beauty of God's magnificence overwhelm us to tears simply through the cascading light of a stained glass window? When is the last time we led our friends or relatives to the altar to pray over their families or illnesses. When is the last time the power of a ridiculous pipe organ blew us away and reminded us of the power of God? When is the last time the simplicity of a single guitar led us to simple adoration?

I dunno, maybe I over think this stuff. I'm just sayin'.

Lord, overwhelm us. Amen.

...jesus in my pocket...

The pic to the side is of one of our groups from Week 2 and the othe YW staff.

Just a couple quick updates before I share something on my heart. This is July 4th week. Happy 4th. That also means it is POW WOW week on the Rez. We will be going to some pow wows this week, so I will try to update you on how amazing they are. I have begun putting in resumes at a couple of places for after the summer. I was humbled when a church from a previous community I have served in called me hoping I might be available for their student minsitry position. They shared some great thoughts with me that many of my dear friends had shared with them. Much love to my friends in Harrison, AR...if you would pray with me through this process for discernment. My allergies are KILLING ME! in all seriousness friends, would you pray with me. They have been miserable over the past two weeks. I miss my friends and I am craving my mom's potato salad. Now, onto more pressing thoughts. :)

Over the past several weeks, I have had the privilege of casting vision for the different work projects we have been doing on the reservation. What this consists of is explaining to students why they are doing what they are doing and how it effects the kingdom of God. There is one thing that I share over and over again and I would like to share it with you while reminding myself.

In modern Christianity, we often have what I believe is a bit of a skewed outlook on evangelism. Somehow many of us have come to believe that we have this great Jesus in our pocket and everytime we encounter a non-Christian or go into a different belief system we get excited about pulling our little Jesus out of our pocket and sharing him with those around us. There is a problem with this method. Number one...Jesus is not something we carry. Jesus is not a trinket or a toy that we share with our friends or neighbors. Jesus is the one that reconciles us to the author of our very lives (the Cheyenne call Him Maheo). Jesus is the man that we believe died for our sins so that we might have life eternal. Jesus is not meant to be placed in a box or a pocket and just brought out when we think someone needs to know about Him. Paul's letter to the Romans tells us that our entire being should be a living sacrifice to Jesus. Everything we are and do should be to Him and for Him. Problem number 2...to go on a mission trip or even in everyday life and believe that it is time to bring Jesus out and share Him with others assumes that Jesus has not already been where you are or where you are going. Friends, God is the Creator and the Author of all things. These very mountains I live in, the very people we serve were all created by one God. The God! You do not have to believe in God or Jesus Christ to have been formed by Him. I know what you are thinking, i think.

I am not saying to stop telling people about Christ and His overwhelming and redeeming love for ALL of human kind. I am not saying put Jesus on the backburner. In fact I am saying the exact opposite. I am saying, lets begin commtting to make Jesus the focus of EVERYTHING we do. If we build a house, build it as unto Jesus. If we paint a house, let's paint it as unto Jesus. If we run a non-profit clinic, let's run it as unto Jesus. Let's stop making friends to lead them to Christ and just start making friends because it is what Christ would do. Then my friends, people will begin to see something in us. The scriptures tell us how people will know we are followers of Jesus Christ. They will know us by our love. I wonder do people know I am Christian by the love I show or is it because I have to tell them?

Lord, please continue to guide my friends and I into a place where we are no longer central. Guide us to a place where people realize our love for you by our overwhelming love for others. Lord we thank you for being the Everything, the Beginning and the End, the Yesterday and Tomorrow, the Who Done It, the Who Said It, the Who Is It, the Big G God that loves us so much. Your love still amazes me. Amen.

Much Love friends,
Lance

...still standing...

WOW! Can I tell you about the blessing that my week has been! First, it has been a little over a week since you and I have discussed life, specifically mine. It's kinda interesting that I have a blog about MY life and call it no longer central. Oh well. I guess I just try to remember that ultimately this blog is meant to minister to others. Hope it is doing that for you.

Anyways, we had a ridiculously amazing group last week and we are having a pretty amazing group this week as well. Last week we were able to do a tremendous amount of work for my friends, the Small Family (see posted ...giddyup...). To our surprise, she made the groups lunch every day. What a servant. This week we finished their home and have begun work on two additional projects; a teen center for the Boys and Girls Club and a major overhaul on a local church that will begin using the facility again this Sunday for baptisms. It has been a pretty insane 1 1/2 weeks. However...

...I would totally be lying to you if I said this was not hard. Its not as much about the work as it is aobut the really long hours, and honestly the ridiculous amount of spiritual warfare. There I said it, outloud at that. A few years ago, a fellow staff member at a church I served began to use the fact that I used that language against me. He began to throw the term back in my face and act as if the use of that term was simply to glorify me and get my own way. Since then I have rarely used the term. I am currently in a place of life where I have no choice but to acknowledge it. Call a spade a spade. Now, some things happen just because, but I totally embrace the idea that we do have an enemy seeking to kill, steal and destroy. To acknowledge anything less would simply be uncivilized and not very bright. Anyways, with all that said let me tell you about the weekend: radiator on the van blew up halfway to Billings and had to go buy a new van Saturday and go shopping for 3 meals a day for 70 people. Yeah. Supposed to be the day off. I had a little friction with someone (resolved PRAISE Jesus!), got hardly any rest, and started over on Sunday night. Sunday a Monday were just a little off for me. It was weird. Everything went fine, but ALL the staff felt such a heaviness surrounding the site and ourselves. Eventually we had opportunity to pray together outside. It was hazey and no stars were to be seen. Amazing enough, as we began to pray against the enemy in the name of Jesus, the fog totally lifted taking with it the heaviness and revealing the most beautiful mass of stars. God is good.
Oh it would have been so easy to just give up on a weekend like this. It would have been so easy to just kinda go through the motions this week and not care about anything. It would have been so easy to wallow in our lack of rest and spiritual heaviness. But, I always remember something my ex-girlfriend use to tell me in hard times (shout out to your wife Phil!). She would always tell me, "when times are tough Lance, you just stand! Don't quit or give in...just STAND!" I am thankful to Amy for those words of life that encouraged me this week to simply stand in the presence of the all-providing and all loving savior Jesus Christ!

Amen.

...change of delivery date...

Hey friends! Because my time off during the week is going to be falling on Wednesday evenings, please begin looking for my new posts on Wednesday nights orThursday Mornings beginning tomorrow. Blessings!

...encouragement on the journey...

Man!  I so wish I could just divulge information on ALL the things that are going on here in Lame Deer, Montana.  All good so far.  There are however some things I can share.

1.  The Minnesotans make fun of my accent.

2.  We named our work crew after some of the lovely wildlife in the are:  llamas, mountain lions, eagles, and sasquatch.  Yeah you read that right...how could we resist?

3.  I love the people I work with dearly.

4.  I am still dealing with pride, but by the authority of Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit I am continuing to grow more and more like Christ daily.

5.  We can already see AMAZING work that God is doing in the lives and hearts of students, even on day one.

6.  God is encouraging me daily in my walk with Him.  Some of the things he has encouraged me in are the following:

--I am so very reminded of the fact that there is such thing as spiritual warfare.  I have for  the past few years ago, been almost apologetic about my belief in a spiritual battle  that is going on around us.  Two sides fighting equally as hard for our attention and  devotion.  Friends, I will no longer apologize for believing and fighting against the  spirits that would seek to drag me away from God or distract me from the work he is doing in me.  Not totally certain how this encourages me, but it does.

--God is revealing to me that I can still be in effective ministry with young people.  I am so thankful that God gives me the opportunity to minister to students that have the ability and the nerve to change this world.  I hope this is something I get to do for many years to come in some capacity.

--I am also encouraged to see that a group of people from extremely different places and backgrounds can come together and effectively run and maintain this phenomenal camp.  God is so good.

--I am encouraged that I can be honest.  So many of us spend so much of our lives lying to others and even ourselves.  This blog has actually really opened the doors for me to be EXTREMELY honest with myself and you my faithful readers.  Tonight I really struggled with pride and it manifested itself in a way that really frustrated me and probably others.  I felt Christ pushing me toward the need to confess this sin to my fellow staff members.  At first I was shocked did not want to apologize (see 2 weeks ago post to find out that I often think I know everything).  But, I decided that the good that could come out of the situation is for me to learn from it, take away a tool of Satan and hopefully rebuild a greater level of trust with my co workers.  They were extremely understanding and appreciated my candor i believe.  I certainly thank God that He can take ANYTHING Satan intends for evil and use it for good!

Friends thanks for your prayers this week.  I look forward to continuing on this journey with you.

Eyes on the Cross,

Lance

...giddyup...

Tony Campolo, one of my favorite theologians tells a story of a preacher out in the west.  He meets an ole cowboy and eventually over time leads him to Christ.  A while later, the preacher went to visit the ole cowboy and asked him how his relationship with Christ was going.  The cowboy said, "Preacher I feel like I have two horses roped up to ma heart and both are pulling in different directions."  The preacher asked him, "Which one is winning?"  The cowboy looked at him and said, "Whichever one I say giddyup to in the morning."

So true.  So true.  Over this past week in beautiful Montana, I have seen many things.  We went last week to see the Buffalo Jump (where the natives would run buffalo off the cliff before sophisticated weaponry), visited a lot of great people in the Cheyenne community, gone to a cookout at the park, and even participated in a traditional Cheyenne sweat lodge (google it).  I have so greatly enjoyed this different culture.  Last week I met with the Small family.  They are the best couple.  We will be working on their home in the next few weeks.  She smiles about everything....literally EVERYTHING!  She was telling us about a close friend dying from an asthma attack 2 days ago....smiling.  Then she told us about her step son getting shot in his driveway years ago...smiling.  And then she totally changed subjects and began asking about our families religious beliefs.  It was about 40% endearing and 60% awkward.  Then today and yesterday as I heard this Campolo story, I began to think about Mrs. Small (jackie as she would have me call her).  The truth is we all have an opportunity to smile and live life in expectation of great things.  Its just that so often we say giddyup to the horse that drags us down or reminds us of the things we dont have.  Seems to me Jackie has just made a decision to say Giddyup to the horse the reminds her that there are better things to come and reminds her of the blessings she has been given by God.  Hmmm.....

So my friend, no real deep and profound confessions or thoughts this week, I am just going to be challenging myself to be more aware of which horse i am spuring on.  Which one am I going to push toward the finish line today.  Will it be the horse that is charging as hard as possible toward Christ, or the horse that is charging as hard as possible the other way.

Lord, keep drawing me close to you and help me make decisions that spur me toward your will for my life!

Be Blessed Friends,

Lance

...Littlebird wisdom...

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."  1 Thessalonians 5.16

TIRED! Very Tired.  Tools and crap all over the place.  We did inventory today...and praise God it's almost over!

Toward the end of last week, we had an opportunity to lay out some goals for our summer with YouthWorks!.  I took this opportunity to be very honest with myself.  And now tonight, at a very late hour, I will be very honest with you.

I am prideful.  I believe I know it all.  I hide behind my ability to talk myself through many situations.  Sometimes, I run over people pretending we compromised, knowing full well, I got my way.  I talk down to people sometimes.  And honestly, as much as I quote Proverbs 18.21, I often speaks words that sound a lot more like death than life.  It's not pleasant to say, and it certainly isn't a pleasant thing to confess to you my friends.  But it is what it is.

That leads me to my goals.  I have decided that above all else, I LOOOOONG to gain a servant heart.  So often, I do good things, because there is some sort of payout for me.  It strokes my ego, makes me feel better about my shortcomings, or feeds the evil need for power that I sometimes struggle with.  The truth is, I am not a huge fan of serving others.  It pains my heart to say it, and tears stream down my face as I do.  It's not who I want to be.  I want to do everything for the glory of Jesus Christ who died on the cross that I might be saved.  I want to feed the hungry because they are hungry.  I want to paint a house because someone needs their house painted.  I want to build relationships with the preferred and denied because we all need relationships.  I want to pour into the lives of young people because I want so badly for them to know Jesus Christ...not just because it makes me look greater or holier, or even creates a built-in social system.  Don't get me wrong.  There are many reasons I work with students.  I love all of the students I have had the privilege to serve over the past nine years, but I find myself realizing that sometimes I poured into them for my own gain and sometimes not as much for theirs or God's.

So now we have exposed much of the truth of the matter, but friend, I praise God...GRACE ABOUNDS!!!  For those of you who have not been reading, I have moved to Lame Dear, Montana for the summer to work with a company called YouthWorks! on the Northern Cheyenne Reservation.  Since the moment we arrived I have been warmly welcomed by  a man name Lonnie Littlebird.  Lonnie works for the school we are living in.  This man has been such a servant to our crew.  He has talked to us about the culture and taken us on trips.  He has set up our Wi-Fi and pointed us to coffee shops on the Rez.  He has helped in every way possible.  Last night, we were talking about religion and Lonnie shared that he realizes more and more every day that the Cheyenne culture is a culture of prayer.  It is my belief, through my prayers and yours, God will grant me the desire of my heart; a heart to serve his people, a heart to serve Him.  I am tired of serving myself.  It is exhausting to serve and consume all at the same time.  I long to serve the God of the universe and all those He sees as valuable (that's you).  I long to have a heart like His.  Would you please join me in prayer on this journey.  I need your prayers and I will be happy to pray for you.  Together we will both develop the kind of relationship with Christ the makes us no longer central.  Lance

PS...I am going to a sweat lodge Thursday night.  I will let you know how it went.

...in your presence...

"Father I am waiting, I'd like to hear from you..."
--Jason Upton, In Your Presence

Blue walls. picture Windows. Great art. Brown tables. And bussiness all around me. As I am beginning my YouthWorks training week in Denver, Colorado today, it will come as no surprise to many of my dear friends that I find myself sitting in a Starbucks sipping on a french press. The thing about Starbucks is this; they are consistent. They can be counted on. You can go almost anywhere and find what feels like home. They are for me a safe place. Ok, so some of you are thinking, "Wow Lance, I think you may have a problem." Maybe. But isn't it what we are all looking for...a place that is consistent and where we belong. Maybe it's just me.

So if you read my post last week, you will know that I left Saturday morning, driving to Denver, Colorado. I drove nine hours on Saturday, spent the night in Wichita, Kansas (nice city), and drove 8 more hours yesterday to Denver. Typically, I think this would have been the most boring drive known to man. THERE IS NOTHING TO LOOK AT!!! But this was not typical. I found myself finding the most simple of landscapes, beautifully and wonderfully made. I found such a peace in the wind blowing across my face and the sun making my left arm more tan than the right. I felt so surrounded by the love of Christ. It was as if His creation was drawing me into a greater relationship with Him.

I found a song today in my itunes that I had never heard, and even as we speak it nearly draws me to tears. It is the topic of today's post. Jason Upton sings a very simple chorous:

In your presence, it's where I belong
In your presence, all fear is gone.

This is my prayer as you and I journey together through this week. A prayer that we would understand and embrace the presence of Christ. It's a presence that for many of us is familiar, yet not fully embraced. For some it is a presence that we long to rest in but dont know how. For me, (right now anyways) it is a place that is consistent. It is a place that can be counted on. It is a place that feels like home. It is a safe place.

Father God, that we would know your presence. That everything we see would be covered in your love and blatantly visible to our hearts. Lord, in Psalm 28, you tell us that you are the strength of your people. That we would know and feel that strength no matter where we are in our life. God that these words not be be empty. That they might draw glory to your name. And Father I pray that I and others may be drawn deeper into your presence by writing and reading them. Praise be to the creator of all. The one who sustains and strengthens. The one who is company for the lonely and hurting and grounding for the preffered. "Let us have all things, let us have nothing. I freely yeild all things to your pleasure and disposal." Peace rests on us now. Amen.
My prayers for you friends. Be well. Lance

the beginning...

As I sit here tonight, I prepare with great anticipation for the next steps I will be taking in my walk with Jesus Christ.

In this my first post to "...no longer central," I want to begin by telling you what has been going on in my life lately. Two weeks ago tomorrow, I was asked to meet with the Senior Pastor and Senior Associate Pastor of the church for which I was working. In that very cordial meeting, they regretted to tell me that they felt that I was not a successful fit for the program nor the congregation. I have not told a lot of people outside my immediate circle of friends for a couple of reasons. First, I just haven't felt like answering questions. Second, part of me has simply been embarrassed. Let's face it friends, I have been fired 3 times in the past 5 years from the institutional church. I have felt so called to be in ministry with students, but I just can't seem to make it work. For this reason, I have decided to step away from ministry within the institutional church, at least for now. A nine year chapter of my life has officially come to an end.

So here I am, in the blank space. You know, the space in between the last word of a chapter and the bold title at the beginning of the next chapter. I'm not totally certain of what God has store for chapter two, but I going to really embrace my time in this blank space. That brings me to the inspiration for this new blog. Grant me just a few more lines?

I had a painting in my office and it now hangs in my home. It was given to me by a dear friend, Jamie Sanders. Jamie is one of the most phenomenal men of God I have ever met in my life, and does some of the most amazing artwork I have ever set my eyes on. On that painting, Jamie has poured out his heart through these words:
"I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God and it didn't work. So I quit. Christ's life showed me how and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with Him. I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is NO LONGER CENTRAL."
This summer I am setting out to find out exactly what the next chapter of my life is going to be about. I have accepted a job with YouthWorks Mission Camps (www.youthworks.com) where I will be working with Senior High Youth Groups on a weekly basis to help them do mission work in the area we are located. I am very excited about my mission assignment. My team will be working with the Cheyenne people in the northern territory of Montana (about an hour outside of Billings). This is going to be very different for me. I will be working under the very capable leadership of people that are younger than me and I am certain to be the old man on the team. In addition, some of you may know about me, I am more of a, um well, how do I say this? Inside work guy. We will be doing home repair and painting all summer. Should be interesting to say the least. This blog is going to be updated on a regular basis if you would like to join me on this journey from the comfort of your laptop.

In closing I want to thank God for all of the beautiful things that have transpired in my life. I am so grateful for my friends and partners in ministry and life. I am grateful for God's provision (In the month of May my car paid off, my insurance cut in half and I got a roommate that cut expenses in half.). I am extremely grateful to have for the first time in a long time, a Pastor that cares about me and not just my job performance (Dr. Tom Harrison, Broadmoor Baptist). Lastly, I am grateful for the opportunity God has given me to have another chapter in life.

I will write again next Monday from Denver, Colorado. I hope you will take this journey with me in your prayers and reading.

Lance